i understand the irony of this post. i know that the fairytale ending that so many movies (and Taylor Swift songs) have is not reality – that’s just the rule, not the exception. and yet i love Swift’s song lyrics simply because she is a lyrical genius when it comes to expressing the female emotions of love and heartbreak.
some of my faves?
sparks fly – cuz i see sparks fly whenever you smile, get me with those green eyes baby as the lights go down
fearless – and i dunno if it gets better than this, you take my hand and drag me head first fearless | and i dunno why but with you i’d dance in a storm in my best dress fearless
enchanted – please don’t be in love with someone else | please don’t have somebody waiting on you
forever and always – once upon a time, i believe it was a Tuesday when i caught your eye | we caught on to something, i hold on to the night you looked me in the eye and told me you loved me
you’re not sorry – all this time i was waitin hopin you would come around | i’ve been givin out chances every time and all you do is let me down
i could definitely go on and on listing some of my favorite lines from her songs. i’m telling you, there is just something therapeutic about belting out these lyrics in the car. especially if it’s dark and raining.
but T-Sweezy isn’t the only one who doles out these magical, yet unrealistic pictures of relationships and love. let’s just start thinking about all the romantic comedies that exist (and even dramas – like twilight) and not to mention all the Disney movies that portray love in a very idealistic and whimsical manner. and while my favorite chick flicks include movies like Because I Said So, The Holiday, and How to Lose a Guy in 10 days, my all time favorite is My Best Friends Wedding. one of the only movies that i can recall where it ends poorly for the main character.
but really?
every so often i have to fast from certain taylor swift songs. that sound weird? for about three months i completely stopped listening to her song “Enchanted”, mostly because i was realizing that, once again, i was falling into that fairytale mindset – aka the Disney complex. i mean, for real. the song talks about catching someone’s eye from across the room, him being so intrigued that he comes over, witty and playful banter starts, and its the most amazing evening that the only words to describe it is “sparkling” and “flawless”, with the only response being blushing, dancing around, and being wonder struck. gosh who wouldn’t want a love story like that?
i’ll be honest. i’d LOVE a love story like that. literally right out of a fairytale or a movie. but as i’ve gotten older, i realize (and know) that the likelihood of that happening is pretty slim. in fact, i don’t think that i would necessarily want that. okay i realize i just contradicted myself but bear with me.
i know a fairytale story like the ones in movies or in t-sweezy songs are not the greatest idea. first, it implies that love and life-long happiness can be affirmed and achieved in a chance meeting or extended eye contact. it also paints a picture of a perfect relationship, where both need the other and the imperfections of human nature disappear. hmmm i’m pretty sure there is only one place to find that kind of love…
but it sets the relationship up for failure! if a girl and a guy are in a relationship and expect it to be all rainbows, butterflies, unicorns, and tiny red hearts, they have got some disappointing times ahead of them. it sets the bar TOO unrealistically high and with no possible way of always achieving those expectations, the relationship can crash and burn.
anyway. i got to thinking, there has got to be a way to find some sort of healthy balance between the fairytale thinking and putting up walls to protect yourself. i’m not even sure if those are the two ends of the spectrum but this all makes sense in my head. but there is some sort of dangerous cycle that exists, where girls expect a fairytale ending (i blame the entertainment industry) and when they don’t get it, they slowly start to close up. yet they still long for a fairytale but after so many hurts and rejections are unable to emotionally open up, or are scared to, because the next time just might break them.
or think about it this way. think of a vase: once it breaks the first time, even if you glue it back together perfectly there are still cracks making it easier to break the second time. even if you protect the vase with your life, even the slightest exposure to a hit can easily cause it to shatter. so what then?
go get ‘em v. make ‘em come to you
i was just having this conversation with a good friend of mine. okay so i may have had this conversation with several people… but i was basically venting that i feel like because i am more of a “make em come to you” type person, that i miss out because there are others who are more bold than i am with being up front with guys. yes yes, back to relationships.
whenever i try to be aggressive, i freak the guy out. if i’m too chill, i’m in the friend zone or ignored. and if i try to stiff-arm someone, in rare instances they will for some reason take that as a sign to keep trying. and will persistently keep trying… i mean, what? how do you balance things? do i just keep tried and true to what i’m comfortable with? or do i try to adapt to what other people do? i mean, 9 times out of 10 when i try to do things the way other people do them, it blows up in my face…
and while i believe that everyone kind of has their own way of going about things, i believe that for me personally, even though i constantly doubt my own methods, that letting the guy pursue is the best thing to do. but not pursue in the way like it was brought to you by Disney… but pursue in a Godly way. so instead of kicking myself for not being more vocal about something or regretting not being more aggressive (HA. i’m definitely not that…), i’ll just keep on believing that God’s doing something great, no matter what circumstance i find myself in.
and as for those fairytale endings? the prince who comes to rescue the damsel in distress? the courageous and valient fight that wins her heart over? the adoring attentiveness? those long, passionate kisses in the rain? those singing animals?
… well that only happens in movies and taylor swift songs 
